Drinking my tea and sitting in my favorite chair this Morning, I had one of those perfect moments. The kind where you find yourself literally closing your eyes, feeling the sun on your face, and smelling that crisp Autumn air- and for me, remembering something.
I had such a full, happy childhood. Growing up in a small town, we had Mennonite neighbors, open fields for a backyard, and a Church full of built-in playmates. Countless adventures were had and memories were made.
I remember walking golf courses and visiting the elderly with my Dad. Going to at least one of three local libraries and topping it off with TCBY, with my Mom. Running across a field and tromping through a creek to visit nearby friends, church services in the woods, playing hide and seek in our friend's cabin, climbing hay bales.
Today, specifically, I was remembering Ohio.
I can vividly remember things I felt while living there. The pure joy of asking for my sins to be forgiven at age 5, sitting in the middle of a huge corn field or running bare-foot through puddles while it rained...and just being, unconditionally happy.
As I've gotten older (way older...), I find myself still remembering those times. Those places, those people, those good moments. Because, I've had my fair share of "low moments"- the ones where you feel like you're carrying the world on your shoulders.
You may remember a post from a while ago- maybe two years ago now, where my Mom was talking about how she hoped I learn earlier in life who I am.
I bring this up because there have been several times, where I mention the past or note a memory and get a black lash of "Quit living in the past!" or "Things change, Amanda. Move on."
And so, I find myself recalling something and immediately pushing it aside, because it's not a good idea to "live in the past".
But, I guess my point is.
It's OK to live in the good moments (in the past or not). Be aware the bad moments will happen- but it's okay, nonetheless, to remember times that were happy, or simpler or...just good.
I can't tell you how many times I've had to channel that little girl, living in Ohio or Michigan, and use her to remind myself of who I am.
And it helps, so much.
Because each phase of your life will be new and will require some adjustment, but I think when things get confusing or you just feel overwhelmed- find those good moments and just remember that that child, teen, adult...whoever..was you, too. You still have some of those characteristics or personality traits going on that you can pull from when you need to.
I've learned to accept that I love those moments of nostalgia- and that there is nothing wrong with bringing a little of the old you into the new you.
....This blog post may very well have made little to no sense to you. It's funny how you re-read something you've written and think, "Hm! Not sure that's what I was going for...."-- But! It's what came out and there must be a reason for that. :)
Have a good week.