Sunday, June 5, 2016

Being Honest & Leaping in Faith

There are several who knew we were planning to put our home on the market but I think a good amount had no clue, so I'm hoping this post offers a bit of clarity.

We never really agreed on how long we should stay in Connecticut, if I'm being honest. We both ultimately wanted the same things, but had different ideas of how to get there. 
We would go back and forth, stating our points, trying to make each other see why our "plan" was the best one- but in true fashion of who we both are, neither Kyle or I would budge

I wrote a post awhile back about learning to be content. 
I had a conversation with my Grandma that really changed my outlook on things. I began praying that God would make me content- even if I didn't understand- because I wanted to be happier. It took less than a week for me to begin feeling that peace. Trusting that God knew what He was doing (go figure!) and that I should just go with it.
I hate that it took so long to get to that point, I feel like I wasted a few years where I could have been thoroughly enjoying life to its fullest.

Thank goodness that you can choose your attitude towards certain things.

I started noticing subtle changes in Kyle's outlook on the future.
Originally, he told me that we had to be in Connecticut until he could retire. At the time, that was about 15 years.
Gradually, he told me that maybe we could make it happen in 10 years.
Then, over a year ago, he told me that maybe we could start thinking about some changes in 3-4 years.

I always have joked that Kyle does his best thinking on Saturdays. He works for a security company on the weekends and is often sitting at a desk with way too much time on his hands to reel over different ideas and come up with different plans. I would probably be incredibly rich right now if I was given a dollar for every time I received a call or text from Kyle on a Saturday that began with, "So here's my plan..." or "I've been doing some thinking...."

One Saturday evening in January, he called me.

"I've been doing something thinking...and I'm ready to move. Like, really move. Let's put our house on the market next week."

I was completely shocked and a bit unbelieving, frankly.
Every other conversation we'd ever had about moving, ended abruptly within a day or two of Kyle announcing that we could start planning. 
I would cry, pray and then move on.

So, I took his words with a grain of salt and calmly replied that we needed to work on the house some, prepare, plan, and definitely pray over it. All the while, I felt that within a day or two- he would change his mind again. 

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months- and Kyle's mind never changed. He felt sure that it was time and that we could make it work. He was sick of the politics in Connecticut and ready to begin a slower pace of life in an environment that fit us a little better.

And here we are.

As of today, our home is officially on the market.

Our first home together. The place where we've learned what it's like to have huge bills looming, how to reattach a closet door, how to garden, and where we've had so many good times together.

It's odd for me, really.
I have wanted this for so long- but just when I get to the place of accepting it and finally learning to enjoy it here- it's time to go.

So what's our plan?

That's a good question, actually.

Being that both Kyle & I are planners, this is probably the hardest part of moving for us. 
We don't know what's going to happen next.

Once we sell the house, we'll be heading to the Midwest. Probably Michigan, where my parents are, but Indiana is also an option. 
We'll fly out for a week or so to go to job interviews and check out some rentals- and that will be that. We'll gather our things and go.

Ultimately, what it comes down to for us, is quality of life.
We enjoy a slower pace, general friendliness, and the concept of working to live, rather than living to work.

We have no idea if things will go smoothly and be great.
We have no idea if this is without the shadow of a doubt the best decision of our lives.
We'll learn that in time.

But for now, we feel like we're doing the right thing. We're going with our hearts and hoping for the best.

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