Thursday, March 1, 2018

.30.

       It's a chilly, overcast day here in Michigan with epic amounts of heavy rain threatening to overflow all of the little rivers and lakes in our area. Still, I have a few of our apartment windows cracked open so that I get a little breeze and that soothing "tapping" that only raindrops can provide.
       It's been nearly a year since my last post, I'm sure you aren't that surprised. These days, my posts are few and far between- posting only when I have something important to share. I had really wanted to write a post honoring our sweet kitty, Bubba, who had passed away last January. But I never felt like I had words that were sufficient enough- and so outside of mustering up enough to write the last post on our home selling- this space has been left untouched. Until now!
   
       I turned 30 this past Friday.
              30.
     Hi, I'm Amanda. And I'm 30 years old.
      When did I get to this point in my life?? I really do understand how everyone says that time flies. One minute, you're an awkward 16 year old kid trying to survive High School and the next...you're 30 years old, trying to survive the battles of adulthood.
        When the clock struck Midnight and it was officially February 23rd- my heart fell into my stomach and I shed a couple of tears. Kyle put his arm around me and assured me that there was nothing to be sad about.
         Truth be told, my life is nothing like I had thought it would be at this point. I don't have a career in photography or journalism and I don't even have 1 of the 4 children I had imagined. I never thought that *I* would experience depression or travel the incredibly rough roads of anxiety.
         I've been struggling so much with my purpose. You probably wouldn't know it looking at me- but I just don't know where I fit in life at the moment. It's caused some tears, some self-pity, and some soul searching.
         I'm going to go ahead and say this, although it makes me cringe at what other's may think.
         I'm content.
         I'm content being unemployed and childless. I'm incredibly happy to be living in this adorable apartment with my Husband of nearly 9 years and our precious kitty, Moneypenny. I'm happy to be growing closer to the Lord and attending a supportive Church that's working hard to let God do big things.
         So let me make sure you understand- It would be nice bringing in some money. I would absolutely love any and all little ones, if I had any. But, I love it when my Husband comes home and can vent to me about his day. I can prepare a good meal for him. And I can create a cozy, happy environment for him to relax in. I'm doing my own thing- meeting up with friends I haven't seen in forever, coming up with new meal ideas, doing some writing, helping my Mom with a few cleaning jobs- and for now, I think this is where I'm supposed to be. I never know when God will throw in a plot-twist...but...I'm going with it.



         This has all been a bit jumbled- but I guess my point is. Life is different than I imagined it would be by my 30th birthday- but I'm okay with it. I still feel those pangs of..."Am I doing this life a thing well enough?" But, I'm happy. I have plans to do a few things from home, that will hopefully bring in some kind of income. I have other things I want to get involved with in the community. But, right now, I'm trying to grow where I'm planted. Which happens to be in my living room.

.....but enough about me.

         Kyle has started a job at a local business- his official title is Budget Specialist Team Lead. A little different than "Judicial Marshal". He's only just started and is trying to figure out if it's really something he'll enjoy doing- but I'm so incredibly proud of him.  We had an idea-  a plan - of what we thought would go down once we got here (Are you noticing a pattern here??)...and it didn't turn out that way at all.  We're hoping good things will come from this- our bills being paid for one!

         I know a lot of you would like more apartment photos- I'm working on it! I'm hoping to do another post in the next week or two- giving you a little peek inside our new abode. I've been enjoying making it our own. Our home in Connecticut never felt like "home"- it always felt temporary. We had two bedrooms that were only in use on occasion and never were decorated to our liking. Here, I'm being intentional. Moneypenny thinks she's the Queen of Sheba, going from living in a single bedroom to having an entire apartment to zoom around in. Kyle is enjoying no maintenance!



         That's all for now- letting you know that we're alive and well and learning how to embrace our new roles in life!
  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amanda when I turned thirty I took it hard. I think it had to do with things we look forward to. When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to be a teenager. Then anxious for 20 to no longer be a teenager. Twenty one was another mile stone. But thirty didn’t seem to offer anything. When I ask friends which Birthday was the hardest few mention thirty. That was over half a life time ago, I accepted 40 with grace, no worries with 50 and actually felt a little wiser at 60. Hind site is 20/20 and I’m glad for the person I am today thanks to the path I’ve been on.