I'm sitting at the Longman's home, on the edge of my seat, waiting for that cry. "Hellooo! I'm awake! Come get me and feed me and change me and love me."
I've been working for the Longman's for a few weeks now. Baby Jeremiah is precious. He's got these big chubby cheeks that I adore and I melt every time he grins at me.
As I watch him: His attempts to roll over, his little lips curling downwards as he contemplates crying, his hunger as he gobbles down his warm 4 ounces: I imagine having my own child.
I truly feel like I'm getting closer and closer to that "Yes. I'm ready to have no sleep, no quick B&B trips...and yes, I'm ready to never have to say goodbye to a little one, again. Instead- I'll be able to see them all the way through adulthood- instead of leaving them when they're still toddlers and infants. And yes, I'm ready to see my own child reach those milestones. Smiling, giggling, sleeping through the night, rolling over, teeth, crawling, walking, running...talking.
It's so amazing.
I feel like our Marriage is becoming stronger.
We went to a b&b this past weekend for some MUCH needed relaxation. It was exactly what we needed. Although we prefer more secluded b&b's- this one was comfortable and romantic. We stayed at a place called Stronecroft Inn.
On our way home, I realized that instead of using the knowledge we have of each other to push each other's buttons...we're finally grasping the concept of using that knowledge...to better each other's lives. What a concept, right?!
I feel that we're working towards our Honeymoon stage.
Our first year of Marriage, as previously blogged, has been all about sacrifice and changing and learning and growing. It's been about giving up friendships and comfort. I feel as though my health plummeted and Kyle beared the brunt of it a lot of the time.
I'm pleased to say that- we aren't worried about losing the honeymoon stage- we're still working our way towards it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
We're cancelling our cable today. We're going to try a new product called Roku, I believe. I'm not really a super technologically advanced person- but we're supposed to be able to stream movies directly from netflix and hulu- so we can still watch everything we would on tv, anyway. This way we'll save on renting/buying movies and $50 a month for cable. Sounds good to me!
It's weird learning about the sacrifices we have to make in order to make things run smoothly with our finances.
But I have to say, it feels pretty good.
I don't know about where you are- but here, we've been bombarded with snow storms. A few completely overrated and a few others, pretty decent. We're supposed to get more snow and ice in the next two days. I'm kind of excited for it, to be honest.
Work has already been cancelled for me and I find a thrill in being stuck inside our little apartment with our two kitties. Watching movies, sipping hot chocolate- and my new obsession, making lists. I like shoveling too. I like knowing that I'm working towards getting our car out of a huge snow pile. Or shoveling the sidewalk so that it's visable and walkable. I like scraping the ice and snow off of Kyle's car- knowing that I'm helping him save time & energy. I have a little competition with myself, just to see how clean I can get it in the 10 minutes I have before Kyle needs to leave.
I'm a nerd, I already know.
As much as I love getting stuck indoors for a day- it does kind of concern me that Connecticut really has no where to put this incoming snow. Their roads are getting smaller and smaller and the snow mounds are getting higher and higher. At some stops, it's hard to see past the snow piles and comfortably pull out.
In the Midwest- there are fields everywhere. There are plenty of places to put the snow. But they don't have that advantage here and it makes me nervous for what that means for the people who have to travel in the next few days.
I'm officially taking Zoloft.
I met with a APRN a week ago and had to answer all of the questions ranging from, "Do you feel like people know your thoughts?" to " How's your sex drive been lately?"
I must say- I never thought I would be in this position. The position of taking a prescription drug to help me control anxiety- because I can't seem to do it on my own.
I'm still not completely comfortable with the idea- but a week has passed and I've had no allergic reactions and I've felt...good. Comfortable. And I can finally feel me coming through again. Which is a fantastic feeling. You really, really have no idea.
I've started an online Bible Study group with a few girls.
None of whom I've actually met in person, which bums me out, but they're all wonderful and I find a kindred spirit with each of them. So far, we've already opened up a bit to each other, shared devotionals and prayer requests- and I have felt so encouraged.
I hope that we eventually can plan a girls weekend and meet up. It feels good to finally meet girls that have something in common with me. I hate that they're so far away- but I'll take it.
Alright, all of you.
Take care. Stay warm.
Until next time!