Thursday, July 22, 2010

Soldiers, Pets, Old Guys and other Babble


Typically I'm not a fan of driving, in general. But one of my favorite drives is the 40-minute commute to work everyday. Especially while the weather is beautiful.
It's amazing what seeing a person or "thing" for a brief moment can get your mind thinking of.

Soldiers.
Today, I saw a man messing with a business mailbox. As I was passing I noticed he was standing a little bit strangly. And at a closer glance saw that he had two prosthetic legs. Not that I know for sure but I immediately assumed that he had lost them in a war.

I have an opinion of soldiers and if I'm being blunt and honest with you, it's not always the best opinion.
I tend to feel like lots of guys join the army because it's easier than going to school for 4 years. Or I feel like you can't trust them to stay faithful to their wives while they're deployed. I feel like they all cuss, talk about perverted things, and get drunk.
Now, before you get offended and angry with me- REALIZE, I don't think this about ALL soldiers. I have a few good friends that are serving in the Military.
However, after seeing this man who lost both of his legs- it made me recognize something.
America can be a pretty crummy Country and honestly- I can't imagine laying down my life for it. But here, are men and women who leave behind everything that's familiar to them and go straight into the unknown. To protect, me. And to protect, you.
That's pretty cool.

Thank you guys.

Pets.

One of my facorite things to see are owner & pet pairs. I LOVE it when guys have their trusty pals sitting next to them in their pick-up trucks- or when a woman is walking her twin pugs along the sidewalk.
Or even the man who lives in a house reminiscent of a shack and wears filthy overalls and can hardly walk...just so he can take his fat little doggie outside to take care of business in the pouring rain.

It's marvelous.

Old Guys.

I was in Southbury today- you hit about 4 lights right in a row and at one point there are 4 lanes of traffic.
I see this nice looking beige Charger jogging quickly in and out of lanes, obviously making risky driving decisions.
As I got closer and found myself in the Charger's line of fire- I did what I typically do and glance at the driver- in hopes that seeing this person will explain the driving techniques.
Sure enough.
Old guy.
Then as he proceeded to switch lanes again- first on my right, then directly behind me, then finally at my left side in a matter of seconds- I peered at the Passenger.
His wife.
She looked so prim and unconcerned. Used to it, apparently.
Ah, the joys of years of Marriage.
Generally, I would shake my head in their general direction, repulsed. But today I simply smiled to myself and thought, "He's still got it! Probably a New York native."

Babbles.

I've always wanted to be a Mom.
Ever since I can remember- I'd walk the Church in search of new mothers and beg to hold their little ones. "I'm really good with babies if you want me to hold him..." I'd announce in my 7 year old voice of wisdom.
But...being a Nanny to a second infant and watching so many friends go through pregnancy and parenthood has made me doubt my life-long dream.
On bad days- where Gray is grouchy, unable to take good naps, screaming, pooping all over the place, and seemingly mad at me- I just want to go home to a baby-less house and relax. Just me and my Husband.
However- this week Gray started to crawl. And I found myself near tears, cheering him on- so proud of him! His two little teeth are becoming more evident and he has a smile that can melt you. I was washing a bottle and watching him play in the middle of a huge rug- so full of life. So adorable. So dependent on me.
It brought me back to that place of wanting my own child.
This where my brain goes foggy though.
Do we go for it?! Just do it! We'll be great parents! And you're never REALLY ready, right? Yeah!
But...
I don't want to give up my freedom. Or money. Or time with Kyle. Or sleep. Or weekend getaways.
But...what if I miss my opportunity to be a Mom because we wait too long?!

*Sigh* Who knows..

.....On a completely other note.
I think people are off-put by me. New people, that is.
But, why would that be? I mean...I think I'm friendly enough. Too friendly maybe? Do I look funny?
I have felt like...it's impossible for me to make lasting relationships when people only give 10%.

HEY!
I LIKE TEXTS, EMAILS, LETTERS AND OCCASSIONALLY A PHONE CALL AS MUCH AS YOU DO!
I don't think anything makes a person NOT appreciate being thought of, being remembered.
Call me crazy, but I like to think that you enjoy my presence in your life. I like to think that I matter to you.

2 comments:

Nicole said...

So, I always read these because I'm a creepy ole stalker, but I can't help thinking that you should definitely let yourself enjoy that hubby of yours and your weekend getaways for a little while! Your child will be a part of your life forever, but you will be only be young once! Also, I love old people watching. ALSO I'm glad I'm not the only one who has that partcular viewpoint of the millitary, because I always kind of feel like a jerk about it.

Neil said...

Well if it was not for your military you would not being saying stuff like this. The being lazy to not go to school is way off we join because it 1. Will pay off colleges loans we already have or 2. The military will pay for your college. The swearing and drinking that comes from our way of life, it is a way to let go of all the stuff we have seen or done while deployed. I would like to see how you react and deal with just the thought of what a lot of us have gone through and before you think about how lazy and a burden to everybody. So why dont you think about what we have done and are doing for you instead of what we do on our own time that does not affect you.