Monday, February 27, 2012

Feeding & Sleeping

....I'm not anyone's Momma yet.  Although, I dream of that day.

Let me say this in advance- if you already are a Momma and you're reading this post- take heed! This is me speaking from a personal, non-experience in Mommyhood point of view. So, take a deep breath.  And continue on.

It must be my age, 24 now (What?! Ah!), but it seems that most of my Friends are pregnant. With anywhere from their 1st to their 3rd or 4th child. (Holy smokes...busy!)  So naturally, being apart of the Facebook community- I see a lot of posts, blogs, statuses, links concerning baby feeding, baby safety, baby health, baby this that and everything inbetween.  Thus, I've began to form a few of my own opinions and probably goals for when my time comes to join the Mommyhood Club, that's all so exclusive.

Breastfeeding.

Man, I never knew there was so much controversy on the subject.  A year or two ago Kyle mentioned something about it causing an upheaval at work (a mall)- but I didn't really process any of the conversation.

Apparently- breast feeding in public is quite the topic these days, huh? 

In light of it, I figure I'll get my opinion out there- because Lord knows, Kyle doesn't particularly want to hear what I have to say about it right now. :)

I feel that breast feeding in public is just fine.
If you're covering your breasts. Completely.
No nipple showing, no "cup" showing...No. I don't want to see your boob(s). And I don't want my Husband to see your boob(s) either.

I completely understand that:
A) Feeding your baby is not a sexual thing
B) It's bonding time for you and your baby
C) It's nourishing your Child
D) You don't want to have to sit in a public restroom and hide out
E) When a baby is hungry- baby is hungry NOW!
F) It is not comparible to anything else (Like, peeing in public or masturbation in public)
G) It's a natural process

However, as rough as it sounds- when you're out in Public, the World isn't going to be revolving around you and your Child.  It may not seem fair. It may seem like no one understands- but frankly, people do understand breastfeeding.  I think it's a small minority that actually think it's disgusting. And not even the breast feeding itself, but revealing your breasts- that "disgusts " them. (Which by the way, I think is a bit of a strong term. Being that a lot of women these days wear shirts that reveal nearly their entire chest.)  I think it's simple that other people would rather you keep your breasts to yourself. (And since this IS my personal opinion- yes, I do think that women who having their breasts hanging out of their shirts should cover up as well.)
Just because your a Mom- doesn't mean that the Public is going to dote on your child and it's nourishment needs- as you do. 
It doesn't make it OK to allow other Men perusing by to see your breasts. There is a reason why you generally wear a shirt. Because that part of you is private. It's reserved for your Husband. No?

And, we're not in another Country. Here, we do wear shirts regularly.

I think breast feeding is wonderful. I am looking forward to having this experience. But, I also know that, I will always cover myself up. Out of respect for the bond that I'm sharing with my child, out of respect for my Husband, for myself...and out of respect for even, the Public.

Co-sleeping.

I recently read an article- apparently Wisconsin is trying to try and stop co-sleeping? Some of you probably know the context better than me. 
But I did read the article- to which the Mayor stated, "If you love your child, you will not sleep with your Child"- something to that affect.
Two more babies died recently due to irresponsible co-sleeping, involving drinking and a toddler sibling.  Needless to say, those Parents didn't take any sort of precautions in insuring their Baby had a chance to live through the night.
Extremely sad.
The article also asked what the Readers thought of co-sleeping, if they co-slept- and if they agreed with the Mayor. 
Out of the 65 comments that were posted, probably 5-6 of the comments were from Readers who A) agreed with the Mayor or B) did NOT co-sleep.
All of the other comments were people who DO co-sleep and do NOT agree with the Mayor.

So again, after reading all of the comments, I'll give my two cents on the info I gathered and my own convictions on the issue.

I understand that:
A) It's more convenient & easy
B) It comforts you knowing that you have some sort of grasp on your Child's safety (Video Monitors?)
C) It creates a bonding for you and Baby
D) You're depressed without Baby RIGHT next to you at all times
E) There are guidelines you need to follow to ensure safe co-sleeping
F) Women in other Countries "always do it"

I feel that, the Mayor should not have implied that a Mother doesn't love her Baby if she co-sleeps. (Although I don't think that was necessarily his intention).  But, I think he's on the right track with spreading the word that co-sleeping isn't really a safe plan.

I do not plan on co-sleeping with my Baby. My Husband doesn't want me/us to. I feel like it takes away from the Mommy/Daddy bonding time.  I think it promotes a harder transition for the Child to sleep in his/her own room in the future.
And, whether or not there are safety guidelines to follow- regardless of statistics that state deaths by co-sleeping only occur when guidelines aren't followed-  why risk it??
There are other ways to bond with your baby. Waking up at all hours and walking into another room is just part of the deal. They have video monitors now, if you feel that a sound only monitor is not sufficient.  Yes, you may wake up in a panic all night, constantly checking the video (I've done this before, while being a live-in Nanny)- but you can clearly see baby. You can see baby moving, talking, sleeping, crying...everything.
Sleeping with your Child just seems irrational to me when there is even the slightest possibility that something could go wrong.

Do I think you're a bad Parent for breast feeding in Public or sleeping with your Baby? Of course not.  Everyone has their own opinions and their own convictions on Parenting.  And my opinion may not be shared with you- but at least I got it all out there. And I feel better about it.

Until next time, feed that baby! :)

-Manda

7 comments:

Rachel said...

Totally agree with you on the breastfeeding. If I'm not okay with cleavage (showing or seeing), why would it be okay to just see a boob, even if a baby is attatched? Totally PRO breastfeeding lady is behind this opinion by the way.

As for co-sleeping, I believe there is more risk with SIDS when the baby sleeps by themself (though I'm not 100% sure on that), so there are probably risks either way. I think co-sleeping can be totally safe if you do it right, and the baby in it's own room can be totally un-safe, even when you do it right. But, just like you that's my opinion and I haven't done too much research. I don't know if we will co-sleep or not, but I think I will want the baby in our room at least up until a certain age. For ease of late night feedings, and I think I will just be more comfortable with that arrangement. Who knows though, I guess we will see what I think when the time comes.

Krista said...

I read that article and I am right with you on the co-sleeping. First off, I feel like our bed should be ours not a place where just anybody in the family can sleep (although I will let the girls sleep with me if Adam is out of town or something.) Otherwise, why risk it. Put them in a packnplay or a cradle in the room with you. Still convenient AND safe! Nervous? Sit up and check them. I do understand that the article mentioned alcohol playing a role in that particular instance, but it has happened other times where alcohol did not play a role. I personally would rather be safe than sorry.

You would be surprised if you knew how many little things become such HUGE controversial issues once you have a baby. It is crazy... I learned quickly to never ask for baby advice or post anything parentingy on facebook.

PS - totally agree about the breastfeeding and I really liked the way you put it.

nanny.sarah said...

omg i am in your shoes, im an experienced nanny but not yet a mother and I TOTALLY agree with you. great post

Meggan said...

Our kids hated sleeping in the same room as us & both never took to Breastfeeding. So I was lucky enough to wiggle out of the controversy inadvertently:)

donkey and the carrot said...

Hello Amanda! So glad we found each other!!Just read your article... all of your friends are pregnant at 24??? Oh my! I am soooooooo old! I am 36 and... a mom to be in a few months! I pray and hope that my baby will be healthy. About breast feading. I want to, but i won't do it in Public. I believe no matter where you are you can do it without showing it off. As for co-sleeping, i won't do it eigher. It's a risk no need to take. Sorry for my Greekglish if you read some! Many kisses! Foivi :)

Nicole B said...

Creepy thing you should know about video monitors.... most create a strong enough signal that if someone were to be out in the street with any other video monitor, and was going through the "channels" on theirs, they can see and hear YOUR baby! Its freaky..... I threw ours away after testing the theory with a friend's..... especially since we live in an apt it makes it really easy!

Callie Nicole said...

I completely agree with all your thoughts on these subjects!