Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Sunshiny Day

Happy Saturday!

I'm currently enjoying waffles and hot chocolate and soaking in the morning Sunshine. (Why is it that I always feel the need to blog while I'm eating?)

So it feels as though my mind has gone out of control and I have been so emotional lately. Like, crying at the drop of a hat. Be offended over virtually nothing. Starting arguements with Kyle, just because.
Curse you PMS!

Among everything spinning through my thoughts this past week, has been the still lingering discontentment I feel about my current situation. I feel like it's time for a change. Again. But I can't put my finger on what the change ought to be- which makes the whole thing even more confusing..
A new job?
A house?
Something less ginormous, like a haircut?  New nail polish color?
I don't know. But I need a change because I feel like I'm stuck in a rut currently.

.... Isn't it interesting that someone can dislike change so much- but at the same time, quite regularly feel the need for change?
Ugh.
Human life.

Originally, I thought that I wanted to be a Nanny all the way up until I had children of my own.
But then- recently- I've realized how insane I must be.  Don't get me wrong, I adore children, obviously- otherwise I wouldn't make the daily choice to spend hours with them.
However, I really think I need to have a break. Do a different line of work for awhile so that when I have my own little bean, It'll be new again. Fresh.

On the other side of the coin, I've really been debating how ready I actually am for a baby of my own.  And if you know me at all, this idea will surprise you. Because I've always, always, always talked about wanting to be a Mom.
When Kyle and I were first married we visited his childhood Church- and while we were there a woman was cuddling her newborn baby and I started bawling like a baby. (Hey, ladies! Don't let that early baby bug fool you!)
I enjoy coming home after a long day to a quiet home. Peaceful.
And any of you who have spent a good chunk of time around a child, know exactly how quickly that peaceful enjoyment would last!
Of course I know, having a child of your own is completely different. And to that, I look forward to....eventually.

I am turning 24 on the 23rd of this Month.
Growing up, I had this tradition of celebrating a Birthday and then immediately saying, "I can't wait until I'm...whatever age I'd be at my next birthday."
Needless to say, that tradition stopped a few years ago.

I'm beginning to understand the concept that...as you age, you still feel younger than you are. Generally speaking, of course.
I can hardly believe that it's been 6 years since I graduated from High School.  I can't believe I'm about to enter the "Mid-20's" of life. 
I love birthdays and feel that they should totally be celebrated to the fullest. This being said, I'm excited to have my birthday off- the first time in a few years and relax and absorb another year of life.

In other news, Kyle and I are planning a trip to Cancun this July. I'm so excited for this- and it's making me get my toosh in high gear and lose some weight! (Right after I finish my hot chocolate and waffles...of course...)

I can't think of anything else to write that's worth reading. So I'll end this and continue to hope you have a Saturday that's filled with goodness.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

That is so weird! Lately I've really been thinking that I would be totally fine with waiting until I am 30 to have kids. (I am 25 now). Partly because I really want to have our debt paid off and be a little more established. And partly because I really enjoy how easy life is with just Ben and me. And also partly because I don't feel like an adult at allllll. Maybe I never will feel like an adult though.

As for the change thing, I am the exact same way. That's why I rearrange our furniture all the time. I think I realized I like change that I can control, but hate all other change.

With Glitter On Top said...

I'm a nanny as well, but I don't have kids of my own so I could definitely see how it would be a little overwhelming to be a nanny as your job and then have your own little ones to take care of. I don't think that would be an easy task by any means! :) I love your blog btw, it's too cute, come check mine out some time :D

FREE GIRL CUTE said...

i like your blog :X so sweet ^^

xoxoxo
Asian Girl
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