Grandma knows best.

Do I usually write a blog post after my traditional Christmas trip to Michigan?
I think it's possible.

I have a marriage journal that I began before Kyle & I were married. 53 days before, to be exact. I really liked the idea of documenting how things were for me and then giving it to my future children or someone else who could find it useful, and also- so that I could look back and see things from my younger perspective.

What I noticed from my Journal while reading some of the earlier entries, was that I had been afraid of Connecticut and marriage. I was really nervous about moving here and not fitting in. Once I was here, I realized that....I was actually right.
 I don't really fit here, in general. My perspective on life often clashes with the general mindset in this area and I don't seem to really click with other women my age around here. We have different values. Different priorities.

It's not really a secret that if I had a choice between Connecticut and living in Michigan, I'd choose the latter in less than a heartbeat. Pack up my husband and my kitties and hit the road without looking back.

I could feel my emotions bubbling over throughout our second week in Michigan and I knew I needed some wisdom.

To Grandma's room I went.

I sat down on her bed and before I had hardly even touched on what I wanted to say, I started crying. She let me vent and get everything off of my chest.
And then she calmly said,

"There's really only one secret I have that could help you. I've learned that being content comes from knowing you're in the center of the Lord's will for your life."

She said more and I nodded and continued to ugly cry.

At the end of the day, no matter how much I want to be in Michigan- I knew that I was in the wrong with my thinking.

The Lord knows the desires of my heart, but for now. He has us here. And instead of praying for change, I realized...I need to pray that I be in the center of His will. Wherever that may be. Here, there, or anywhere else. I trust Him to take care of me.

And I can honestly say, although I have those days where I miss the rolling fields, the constant laughter, and the hugs... I'm content. Or if I'm not all the way there- I'm close. I've been praying diligently for the first time in my life, that God leads the way. And that whatever way that may be- I'll be okay with it.

I wanted to get all of this out there, to encourage those of you who are at a point in your life where you're frustrated, doubtful, unhappy...that instead of looking to yourself for the answers, take it to the Lord and pray that He'll bring you contentment at the center of His will.

I'm confident that He'll reveal both to you when you're open and not self seeking.

Impossibly Content

My blog has been quiet for quite some time now, I'm sorry about that. I've been trying to only blog when I feel I have something worth saying. I tried doing the every other day posts to keep my readers around, but it wasn't me and it began feeling more like a burden. Who has time for that?!

Do you ever get into those ruts where you feel completely unhappy, lost, doubtful....?
I'll just go ahead and assume that everyone has been there, if not just for my own ease. :)

A few Weeks ago I had a bit of a meltdown. And "a bit"- could be putting it mildly depending on who you ask. It's really not my style to admit that to all of you, but I feel like if it could speak to someone out there, it's okay.

I was feeling very much like....I need to move. I need space. I need change. I need...I need...I need...
Looking back on those three tear-stained days, it could have easily been translated into...I WANT.

Once I pulled myself together and allowed myself to think more clearly,  I was able to see that my wants will always be my worst enemy if I don't start looking at things differently.

Deep down, I would love to accomplish and do other things in life.
But, I know that God has K & I here for a reason. Doing the things that we're doing, with the jobs we have etc...
I'm not sure what that reason is, but it's there. And God knows it. And so, my job is to be content. Here. Tomorrow. Next Week. A Year from now.

And honestly, it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

I've been reading the Word, praying, and allowing myself to be happy and content, even though sometimes I truly think it's impossible.

Even though I still have rough days, my key to getting through them is having hope & trust in the Lord.

I just wanted to let you know, it's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to feel doubt. And it's okay to wonder. It's okay to have a bad couple of days. Being a human is a tough gig sometimes.

But only you can allow yourself to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's always there- but I think we choose to put on blinders and ignore it. Because feeling sorry for ourselves is easier than changing our mentalities.

Take off those blinders and allow yourself to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You and those in your life deserve to be happy and content wherever life is right now.

The Way It Went.

Our Thanksgiving went down a little differently than either Hubs or I had anticipated.

1) We woke up moody.
2) We had scratchy throats, runny noses, and coughs.
3) We realized our kitchen was tough to prepare Thanksgiving meals in.
4) We cancelled dessert at my in-laws, so that no one else was contaminated with our germs.
5) We spilled turkey juice, all over the floor.
6) Hub's Apple Crisp. Well.  . . . . It was more like Apple Mush, bless his heart.

The whole day felt like this emotional-filled frenzy.

But a few super cool things happened, that totally trumped the ridiculous.

As I was preparing our Thanksgiving Table- I found myself staring the table down. Walking around it. Putting things on & taking things off.  Finding perfect angles with my camera. Picking the best placement for table settings and making sure we had plenty of pretty dishes for photos.

But then, I don't know exactly what- maybe God- slapped me in the face and was like, "This is THANKSgiving! Enjoy yourself.  Count your blessings."
So, instead of setting everything up for the perfect photo-filled Thanksgiving Blog today. I decided instead, to put my camera away. And dish up from the kitchen and enjoy a simply set table for my Husband and I.

It was calming.
It was peaceful.
There was good conversation.

And while that was freeing for me- realizing that as much as you, sweet readers, love photos of EVERYTHING. (I do!!) - sometimes it's nice to live inside each moment and then immediately store it in a little memory file. Instead of a blog post to amaze and astound.

One such moment, my favorite of the day, came when while clearing dishes- I handed Kyle a plate and he said, "Hey Babe? Thanks for being here. In Connecticut."

Ohhhhh my lanta.
I felt my eyes water a bit as I looked away with a smile, finding the next plate to hand over.  Sometimes, those little things-confirm bazillions of other things.

Thanksgiving was sick-filled, love-filled, and apple mush-filled.

Hope your Day was just as fulfilling.

Wonderful.

Have a good weekend everyone?

I spent a good amount of time catching glimpses of the Olympics (Go USA!), cuddling with fur babes (as usual!), and spending much needed time with my Husband.

We're also working on making some fairly large changes in our lives. Re-prioritizing and getting where we want to be at this point in our lives. I'm super nervous & also very excited. If you think of it, I'd love it if you'd say a little prayer that we allow Christ to lead the way, fully. (So hard sometimes, right?!)

Here are some favorite recent instagrams. (Follow me @ ajsven)

*Trying out my new Julep polishes together, Yumi & Lynn.

*Snuggles with 007

*A Healthy Snack, Almonds

*A quick photo before heading out on a drive with Hubs

*Hubs needed to break a $20, so he bought flowers- I'll take it! :)

*More, beautiful Summer flowers.

And this is one of my favorites:

Hubs & I about to enjoy a Starbucks brunch- and I caught Kyle mid prayer.  And yes, he was praying silently to himself. I wasn't peeking ;)

It's an incredible example to me of Christ's love. That He's given me a Husband that I often feel so un-deserving of. But not only that, I'm so thankful for a Husband who strives to lead our Marriage, God's way.

Love for the World

You unfaithful people! Don't you know that love for this [evil] world is hatred toward God? Whoever wants to be a friend of this world is an enemy of God.                                    James 4:4 (God's Word Translation)


I don't know about you- but as a Christian, especially in today's World, I feel like I'm constantly fighting to keep my Faith. Prove my Faith to other people- and try and convince people that true, God-fearing Christians are not perfect people. We strive to do what God asks of us to our best ability-but it doesn't mean we don't make mistakes just as any other human born Sinner has.

I stumbled across this verse in James- and it really spoke to me.  I find that when I'm in a rut Spiritually, it's intense to get out of it. I have to muster up every ounce of motivation- just to get myself to return to His Word. 

There are so many 'things' that I enjoy about this World.  Animals (duh), makeup, house-hunting, fields, roller coasters, coffee...down comforters. 
There are even some bad behaviors that I've posessed that the World tells me is 'OKAY'.  How easily and often we forget that what the World says and what God says is completely different.

I DO NOT want to be an enemy of God.  While I enjoy some parts of life here, it is essential that we remember that this life is "but a breath" and is completely temporary.  Sure, enjoy life as you have it- but don't enjoy it or love it more than you love your Creator.  Because it will surely be the death of you.

Today, I want to challenge both myself and you- to read the Word. Even if it's just one good verse that gets you through this day- or a devotional. Or say a prayer.  Or find a Church to attend this Sunday.

Cake and Controversy

There is nothing quite as thrilling as knowing a package is coming for you- and coming home to find it nestled perfectly next to your door.  (Then again...there is nothing quite as disappointing as expecting a package and coming home to it having not been delivered yet!)

I recently celebrated my 24th Birthday. (Which I don't think I've written about yet! I'm slacking, huh?)  It was easily one of my top 24 Birthdays... :)

I had taken my Birthday off, which was the first time in a few years that I had actually had the Day off. And it was wonderful. I watched movies, read a book, and took a long nap.  Kyle came home from work early and took me out to the Cheesecake Factory (Salmon. Cheesecake. Caramel Macchiato? Yes please!) and then took me into the Mall to pick out a new purse. It was awesome! I never thought I'd be given the opportunity to walk into a store that I love & be told that I can have my pick, basically.  I am a lucky girl!

Two days later, on Saturday, Kyle had yet another surprise in continuation of my Birthday. He took the day off and we stayed at a Bed & Breakfast here in Connecticut. http://www.stonecroft.com/
It was exactly what we needed. Relaxation and some time for the two of us to share together without any obligations. ( To make the day even more fun, we brought You've Got Mail along. Do I really need to say more?! )

As for turning 24, I'm still iffy about it. One more year away from officially being in the mid-20's. 
You know what has been crazy for me?  Watching ABC's The Bachelor.  I remember the day where I'd see their ages and think, "Wow...they're so much older than me."  And yet, as I watch the current Season- I'm finding that their either a year or two younger or just a few years older.  Such a reality check!
Time really does just slip by if you're not paying attention.

Anyway- the point of that entire "Birthday Ramble" was to give an explanation as to why I've been awaiting several packages. I received mostly cash and gift cards from Family & Friends and immediately did some online shopping. Hoorah!


Second-
Has any one seen some of the news headlines about Kirk Cameron sticking up for his beliefs against homosexuality and getting so much grief for it?
I recently discovered that on this particular website- you can make comments- and decided to go ahead and stick up for Kirk. So far over 600 people have "liked" my comment. I'm so thankful that there are people out there, more than I honestly would have suspected would be vocal, that are sticking up for what is right- in terms of morality.

Here is a copy of my comment:

It's amazing to me that Kirk expresses his belief- and gets completed blasted for it. If we're talking about "going with the flow" of America "today"- then what happened to being your own person? Having your own opinion? Being different? If I'm supposed to be different- and America is pretty much "Yay for Gay"- then I'd rather go against the grind. Not only that, but stick up for what I believe in. Regardless of what the rest of the World thinks.
I'd also like to comment- a lot of the things in the Bible are hard to understand and are up for "'interpretation"....but a lot of things are black and white. Homosexuality is one of those things. There is no if and or but about it. If you're calling yourself an advocate of gay rights- then I'll come right out and say it- I wouldn't want to be you when Jesus comes back.

Do I think that homosexuals should be bullied? Absolutely not!
Do I think that homosexuals are less of a human being? No.

But do I agree with or condone their lifestyles? No.

-----------------
This whole thing has been such a huge deal- and I totally understand every one's point of view. I get it. I do. Equality for everyone! Rights! "You can't tell me who to love!"- all that jazz.
But here's the thing: I serve a God who can direct me in who to love. And can  direct me in how to love. And I also serve a God who is completely blatant about Homosexuality. 

I am proud to serve my God. And I'm thankful for someone with the 'status' of Kirk Cameron who represents Christians and has a louder voice than I do.



Until next time,  Eat Cake!